Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Epic Fail Part 2: Open Mouth, Insert Foot.

Hooray, it's another edition of Bad Mama's Epic Fails! 

A little over a  year ago, one of my favorite blogging Mamas suffered an unbelievable tragedy. Her husband committed suicide by hanging.

This poor, funny, remarkable woman blogged openly and honestly about her experience - however horrific and unbearable it was.

For some reason, I was absolutely heart broken for this woman and her two children. I'm not sure exactly why - but I was (and still am) supporting this mama from afar (she lives in Australia) - praying for her and pulling for her every day.

I wracked my brain for something to do or say for this poor woman and her broken heart. 

I have commented on her blog every day she posts. I sent her a package with a blanket my mom made, a book for the kids, and a bunch of chocolate. (FYI it is cheapest to go with the US postal service when shipping internationally.)

This is all well and good, Melissa but where's the epic fail part?

Prepare yourself.

One fine day, after several months of commenting on her blog every day, I caught myself mid-keystroke and  realized what I was typing.

What I had been typing every day for several months. 

Are you ready?

"Hang in there" 

I like to imagine my face when the realization struck.

I imagine it was what one might look like after being struck in the face with a frying pan.

I was shocked and horrified at my own unbelievable stupidity.

Really, Melissa? HANG IN THERE? 

I thought about apologizing, but what on Earth would I say?

"Dear beloved blogging stranger, I have just realized that I am an incredibly 
insensitive ass and would like to apologize for saying "Hang in there" 
every day for several months to a woman whose husband recently
committed suicide. By. Hanging." 

I said nothing. 

I continued to comment daily, attempting to offer love and support - without ever saying "hang in there" again. 

I don't know, but I think when it comes to foot-in-mouth moments, I just might win this one. 


  1. "hang on" there buddy..way too hard on is american idiom and i am sure this lovely mother knows that..but you always did hold yourself up to way too high standards..give yourself a break..reaching out all that distance to give this woman some kind words of encouragement is a wonderful thing ..not many of us would have done that are like your grandmother full of irish compassion..and as she would say "cut yourself some slack, busy mother" you kisses to everyone ..

  2. Oh no! I have to say tho, i read her blog too and have often seen your comments on there and never noticed your 'fail'...maybe she didn't either?!! Perhaps?!!! I know the feeling you probably have in your guts tho...ugh...hate that foot in the mouth problem!

  3. As someone who has lost a child, and who is helping her recently-widowed mother to recover from her/our loss, I have to say that most everything that comes out of the mouths of people is assanine!! Even when well-meant and well-prepared. It is your sincere thoughts, sympathy and outreach to this woman that matters. Most of all, the acknowledgment that there is loss, and not everything will be fine for quite a while but that it is ok to not be fine.


  4. Melissa.. you are hilarious! Totally something I would do as well. Hopefully she didn't notice.. and if she did, at least you have stopped referring to "the incident".