Thursday, October 18, 2012

Running: a mind/body experience

Wednesday, 9am.

38 degrees F.

Mind: We're going running. 
Body: What? No. It's cold. 
Mind: I will provide you with a hat and gloves. 

5 minutes into run:
Mind: Yay! Running! So good for me. Shrink stubborn thighs, shrink. 
Knees: crackle, crackle.
Quads: I'm tired already.
Hamstrings: We're tight. 

10 minutes into run: 
Mind: Yay. Running. Must keep running. 
Body: Yay! Running is awesome! I feel great! Hey! Is that a downhill? WEEEE!

20 minutes into run: 
Mind: I'm bored. Can we stop?
Body: No! I love running! When are we going to increase our distance?!
Mind: What do you think are the odds of being snatched by a serial killer on this stretch of road? 
Body: Wha? 

30 minutes into run:
Body: I'm hot! Take off the hat and gloves immediately! 
Mind: What am I supposed to do with them?? 
Body: Carry them awkwardly, of course. Can we take off the rest of our clothes, too? I want to be free. 
Mind: No. I don't want to carry these. We're ditching them behind this telephone pole. We'll come back for them later. 

40 minutes into run: 
Body: Effing hill. Can't. Breathe. Must. Stop. 
Mind: NO! Almost done! See we are cresting the hill now! Way to go!
Body: Still. Can't. Breathe. Wheeze. Gasp. 
Mind: Why are you still panting? We're going downhill now. Weee?
Body: No. 

End of run:
Body and Mind: YAY! 

4 hours post-run:
Mind: I feel great! So calm and centered. 
Body: Stop climbing up and down the friggen stairs. No. More. Laundry. 

And there you have it. 
Running, as experienced by me.