Thursday, February 16, 2012

Phone calls from teachers



For those of you with older children this post will be melodramatic.

But I don't have older children, and therefore lack perspective.


Yesterday I got a phone call from the Big Boy's preschool teacher.

This isn't the first time.

BB's transition to preschool has not been easy.

Thank God for his preschool teachers. They have worked with us showed us how it's done, and our boy has made crazy-amazing progress.

Alas, you know how it goes:

Two steps forward, one shoving-incident-where-a-preschool-friend-lands-on-a-table-and-gets-a-fat-lip step back.

Incidents like this land like a death blow to my parental self esteem.

I know, I know - you seasoned mama's are killing yourselves laughing. A pushing incident at preschool? Bah! Just wait until you're bailing him out of jail!

Perspective: I have none.

I am earning it. One slow, painful inch at a time.

My sister (smart and with about 1,000 yards of perspective) told me that our children's paths are their own. We can guide and help, gnash our teeth and pray - but in the end, this is their experience - not ours.

I have to extricate my self esteem from my son's behavior.

Am I good parent even if he makes mistakes?

That's what they tell me.


  1. This is, by far, one of the hardest Mama lessons there are! It is so hard to let them have their own bad moments - and not try to fix it for them. When your kids have to suffer consequences of their actions - you just have to suffer with them. Often in silence. I never quite got the hang of it! (mine is 20 yrs old). Chin up!

  2. Since September, my oldest has stayed the full day at preschool about four times. Most of the time, I'm called to pick him up, or I've been asked in advance to pick him up at a certain time. Several times, he's only stayed 30 minutes out of the three hours. So, I SYMPATHIZE. Big time. You're so right that it's a huge blow to the parental self esteem!

  3. unfortunately it does not get easier as there will come a time when the boys have kids of their own and the process will start all over again. i have found that grandmothers also feel the pinch of what are percieved as slights to their beautiful grandchildren. oldest sister is one smart girl listen to her..SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT ..kisses and hugs love,

  4. haha, perspective. o to have it. my daughter's kindy teacher just whipered to me that they find one live head lice in her hair today. i came home, ordered the kids to strip off and get in shower (at 3.10pm!), madly washed and combed all hair, stripped beds and gathered all used towels, set washing machine to HOT, all the while ignoring my 'starving' screaming 11-week-old, with mantra running thru my head "I will rid this house of all lice!"....and scratching... Not my plan for Friday arvo but perspective?! None! This is my family's first time....aaahhhhhh!!!!
    Now imagine my first teacher phone call...!!
    PS am now breastfeeding baby, hence lower-case lazy typing...poor 3rd child!!!

  5. Oh man, I'm already laden with so much self-guilt over my kid's behavior (i.e. screaming in restaurants or throwing tantrums at playdates) that I don't know if I'll be able to make it through the preschool years. Feel free to laugh and point all you want. :D