Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Ready or Not

The Big Boy starts preschool next week.

Now I know, in the grand scheme of life, this is not as monumental is going off to sleep-away camp, college, or brain surgery (sorry about that Mom & Dad), but I am still feeling a crazy mix of emotions.

I haven't talked with the Big Boy about it very much - I know this will only make him dig his heels in, but I have bought him his backpack and told him, "This is for you to take when you start school next week.".

Next week?

The school requested a 4x6 photo of his smiling face and this made me feel a queasy sensation in my belly - this photo will help them remember who my Big Boy is, because they don't know him yet.

Come with me on a side-track - we'll get back to preschool in a moment...

When our little bird family was in the fort, I was just as entranced by the Mama Bird as I was by the babies.

Sweet photo editing, I know. 

Whenever I would get anywhere near the fort the Mama and Daddy birds would start chirping away, swoop down from wherever they had previously been perched and try like crazy to draw my attention from the babies.

I feel a crazily powerful need to perch in the trees outside the Big Boy's new school and swoop in whenever I sense discord.
No stealing toys!
No pushing!
Sit down!
No seriously - sit down! It's circle time! 
I love you. I haven't abandoned you, I'll be back to pick you up in 3 hours. 
You're going to love it here. 
It's so good for you, and for me. 

I can't caption this photo because just looking at
it within the context of this post is making me teary. 

My Big Boy is not the gregarious, outgoing charmer that his Wee brother is. This makes sending him off even harder.

I know he will not be the first shy kid this preschool has ever seen - but the Mama Bird in me wants to flap around him and chirp:
He really is a sweet boy!
Give him a chance!
Once he warms up, he'll charm the pants off you, I promise. 

Motherhood hurts sometimes.


  1. wow ..this post brings up all the emotions every mother has..i had to put both you and your sister on buses and wave goodbye..boy did i hate it..it is awful when you put your precious kids into other peoples' hands..big boy is a smart one and he will figure it out..just keep saying the mantra that especially for a shy one "good for him and good for you"..love you mommy and don't worry love,NANA

  2. This I do not look forward to. But thanks for honestly describing it. And I'm sure big boy will adapt.

  3. Hurrah for motherhood with all it's little joys and pangs.
    The joy of seeing them grow up.
    The pang of seeing them grow up.

  4. You aren't alone! I felt the same way for Caden.. as he also was so shy, the good thing is preschool helps with that a lot!

    Unfortunately this is the first of many times you will feel that way.. last year we had the Kindergarten bus.. and in one week the elementary school bus where he'll be on with 5th graders!! I can barely stand to think of it!

    He will be fine.. if not right away, definitely eventually :) Good Luck!