Thursday, February 10, 2011

The bath.

I'm coming to you today from the bathroom. The bathroom? Yes, indeed.

Dude, don't be hatin' on my sweet slippers.

We're in a state of flux with the big boy. His transition to a big boy bed has wreaked havoc with his nap. If he sleeps, he wakes up horribly weepy and grouchy. If he doesn't nap, then mama doesn't get a break - and I end up weepy and grouchy.

For today, we have compromised with a tub at nap time. He's quietly entertaining himself, blissfully happy and smiling, and I am sitting here typing away and feeling (I have to admit) just as relaxed as if he were tucked away in bed. The room is warm and the sound of the water is soothing, his sweet face is there for me to peek at whenever I pause.

For me, this has been one of the tricks of parenthood. Just when I think our daily routine is grooving - with things moving predictably - a monkey wrench arrives and throws everyone out of whack. Slowly, oh-so-slowly, I have learned to let go of the old routine, improvise during these times, and wait for the new routine to emerge. It has not been an easy lesson for me to grasp.

I remember when he gave up his morning nap - I couldn't handle it, I tried everything to keep our routine unchanged - which resulted in misery and frustration for both of us.

But this time, I acknowledged the change was coming, and have tried to be open minded about it. What do we all really need? The wee one needs to be in bed between 12 and 2. I need some quiet time to clean, cook, and fart around on the computer. The big boy needs some down-time. In truth, there are lots of ways for us to get our needs met, if I can loosen my death grip on the way I think the afternoon should go.

No, I do not have forty-seven bottles of baby
soap - the empties are toys, ya ninny.

I am not a type-A personality (remember the open almonds bag?) but I do like my routines when it comes to the kids, and it is hard for me to tolerate changes. I am slowly learning that when I find myself digging my heels in, thinking this is going to be awful, I am usually wrong. It's going to be different and the transition may be challenging for a short while - but if I am open minded and a little creative, we all survive.

And the craziest thing of all? The way I feel right now, hanging in the bathroom with him - it's the best I've felt in days. Sure, life is still kind of funk-y right now, but I've got this wee tiny warm fuzzy feeling right this moment - and that's something. Once again my son, my beautiful brown-eyed boy, is teaching me that changes don't have to be bad. Roll with it, Mama.

He's a good teacher, even when I am slow-witted.


  1. Hold on to that warm and fuzzy feeling and roll with it. These are the moments we'll treasure when the bleugh! ones are but a dim and distant memory. x

  2. Also, if bath time doesnt cut it, we can always turn it around & call it "quiet time" Riley's daycare lady has quiet time when the babies nap & the older ones get to (quietly) watch a (quiet) movie with blankies & whatnot. And this is the only time at daycare that the tv is on
    hope that helps!

  3. love this post sounds like you got it right ..and he does seem to be enjoying time with you and in the tub keep up the good work

  4. It's definitely not easy to roll with the routine changes - especially at Maeve's age it seems like what works this week is useless by next week. I dread the day that naptime ends!

  5. What a fantastic idea, I never considered a soothing bath as down time for the little one. I am so happy you found a little piece of relief. oxox

  6. I love what you said about a 'monkey wrench' arriving. I think you are referring to children, of course. I have two 'monkey wrenches' myself, and they're expert Throwers-Out-Of-Wack. Just can't predict them. Sometimes in a good way- sometimes not.

  7. This entry by you, is so profound to me, that I'm printing it out to refer to in the future. I, too, am one for routines, and having things 'just so'. I forget that it's okay for things to change, otherwise we would never grow. Thank you for this post. I'm glad to hear that you made it through the week all in one piece. :)

  8. Oh treehugger - what a kind comment - thank you very much. it's so true - when I can let go things are so much easier - but it's still so hard to do :)

  9. That is so true, what you wrote about parenthood being so often a pattern of settling into schedules and then being monkey-wrenched and unsettled (again) as the kiddos grow and change. Your bathtime solution is brilliant!

  10. LOVE the bath pics! It can be so hard to transition! Think how hard it is for US as grown-ups, it must be that much harder for the kiddos!

    Keep hanging in there Mama -- as many a mother has said before: "This too shall pass."