Reading: The Mask of Motherhood by Susan Maushart

I picked up The Mask of Motherhood out of curiosity - having spotted it about a mile away from the "parenting" shelf at the library. Fiction? I wondered. Nope - it's a series of thoroughly researched non-fiction essays that examine everything from pregnancy and chilbirth right through to the division of child-rearing labor between mothers and fathers. While a bit dry at times (her research is nothing if not exhaustive) Maushart tries to offer women a realistic look at motherhood - without the "masks" of serenity, satisfaction, and expectation that are commonplace among mothers. I found myself nodding vigorously while reading, and boring my close friends with statistics from this book. Although the information isn't new to anyone who has experienced motherhood firsthand, it is certainly a breath of fresh air to someone like me, who's always wondering, "Is anyone else struggling like I am?".

"The mask of motherhood keeps women from speaking clearly what they know, and from hearing truths too threatening to face. That for every woman who "blooms" in pregnancy there's another who develops root rot. That childbirth - however transcendent or revelatory it may or may not be - still hurts like hell. That the persistent cry of a newborn can make your husband's snoring sound like a sonata. That your child's physical demands will diminish at only a fraction of the rate at which her emotional ones will multiply and intensify.  That getting the knack of combining motherhood with career is like getting the knack of brain surgery: nice work if you can get it, but 99.99 percent of us never will. "

She writes in detail about motherhood as work of great importance in and of itself, while still acknowledging that the work is extraordinarily difficult, and for the most part - unappreciated.

"Yet their inner conviction that the hard and often lonely work of mothering ... was an infinitely worthwhile endeavor never wavered. To me, there is something both profound and gallant about this admission of ambivalence, and something enormously liberating as well. That it's possible to experience motherhood as redemptive at the same time as one grapples (often badly) with the tedium, frustration and chaos of a child-centered life. The fact that we can do this, that we do do this, is for me evidence of the intrinsically honorable nature of womanhood."

Although at times, it's a bit like a text-book, I found this book amazingly comforting and reassuring.  Maushart is somehow able to extol the virtues of motherhood while remaining completely honest regarding all of its' messes and failures. I found myself holding my head up a bit higher, feeling less alone and abnormal - and that alone was worth the 200+ page investment.