Monday, December 19, 2011

A letter to my body

Dear Body,

It's me - your consciousness here.

As you have steadfastly ignored my previous attempts to influence your behavior, I'm taking my plea public.




This coughing business has gone on long enough.

There is nothing in our lungs except air, and there is absolutely no need to so violently eject air in the middle of the night.

I've checked in with the lungs, they are clear, healthy, and free of foreign bodies.

I've also checked in with the immune system and they report no infection anywhere - including the lungs, so pardon me as I reiterate my point here:



Also, as long as we are airing grievances here, let me just mention one other small point:

When we lose weight, please stop taking it from our boobs and take it instead from the butt/thigh region.

It's a simple matter of weight ratios, if you continue to siphon weight from the top half of our body we're going to end up looking like an upside-down lollipop.

This is not our goal.

In closing let me emphasize these two simple points:

* There is nothing in the lungs that requires forceful ejection. Give it up.

* Shrink the thighs, keep the boobs.

Thank you for your kind consideration and prompt response.




  1. i hear you sista..have made the plea many times..too bad the body does just what it wants to do and i have discovered in sixty two years that the brain does not control anything no matter what the scientist or medical people say he he..good luck ..hope you had a good weekend love you guys

  2. Haha so funny!! I hear ya about the shrinking seriously, where did they go?? Whoever, whatever took them from me, I dare say I desire them more...