Thursday, April 5, 2012

He did what?

Yesterday our Big Boy got sent home from preschool for hitting.

The details of the incident are a bit sketchy, but a bloody nose was the result.

It is so bizarre - this boy does things in school that he never does at home.

He's been sent home for biting and hitting. At home, he is the picture of non-violence. It's his brother that we are always putting in time out for hitting. It was his brother that was the biter.

At school this kiddo also has an issue with eating play-doh, when he has never even taken a nibble of play-doh at home.

What's up with that?

It's frustrating because I feel a bit blindsided.

He hit someone?

In the face?

Hard enough to cause injury?

My son? Are you sure? Brown eyes, brown hair, obsessive about trains? Yep, that's him.

This adds additional fuel to my parenting guilt. Not only did he hit someone (teaching empathy and non-violence fail) but I didn't see it coming (parenting insight and knowledge of my child fail).

I'm trying not to catastrophize this. He is a kid. Kids hit.

But I am alarmed concerned by the fact that he acts out at school but not at home. Is home not a safe place to be naughty and learn consequences? Do I not provide enough situations for impulse control? Socialization? Play-doh consumption?

Parenting is frustrating. Confusing. Humbling. Oh so humbling.


  1. wow you are right this seems so out of character for the big guy. i am thinking that you should not over analysis this ..think maybe that it is less the home environment and maybe more the over stimulation at school. you and hubs are doing a great job. dad and i were talking about how good the boys were in their responses to both you and jay..think everyone is right just a phase and he will mature out of it quickly ..he is one awesome kid..

  2. As the parent of a little boy who was sent home early from preschool EVERY DAY but three since September, I can sympathize. It seems like everyone immediately blames the mom, huh? As if we don't blame ourselves enough! Fortunately, with the help of LB's teachers and his psychologist, we've determined the root cause: sensory processing dysfunction.

    What I'm trying to say (and failing) is that there's something about school that makes him feel like he is free to act out. Peer pressure? Maybe a sense that he's the boss? Preschoolers are notorious for not being able to put their feelings into the right words- maybe something or some situation in the classroom triggers his behavior. Whatever the reason, I doubt it has anything to do with your parenting skills! And I'm sure Nana is right- it's probably just a phase (a crappy one that will bruise your ego).

    Have you tried to sit in on a class? I know, it's tough with a younger one. But it helped me to observe LB and see what his triggers were (close contact, loud noises like circle time, some social interaction).

    Good luck! It's a tough pill to swallow, being the parent of a kid that gets sent home early, when you KNOW he's a sweet, kind, adorable little boy.