Neglect

7:00am
I pull J out of his highchair. He is covered with bananas and yogurt, so I head directly to the sink to wash his face and hands. Can't put him down though, because pj's are equally besmirched, so I carry him carefully upstairs to get dressed. Strip off banana-laden pj's. Allow him to run free while I obtain clothes. Locate baby. Lay him on bed for diaper change. Discover poop. No wipes. Carry baby with bum pointing away from me, to obtain wipes. Wipe. Apply diaper. Locate baby lotion (in bathroom) Locate baby. Apply lotion. Locate clothes. Wrestle wiggling, protesting baby into clothes.

By this point B is standing at the top of the stairs yelling "Come upstairs!" (i.e. "Open the baby gate, mama"). Chase running toddler. Remove pj's. Set bediapered toddler free and obtain clothes. Locate toddler. Smell. Having learned lesson, locate wipes before proceeding. Diaper. Locate  baby lotion (in baby's room). Lotion. Apply clothes.

Go to bathroom. Brush my teeth. B's teeth. J's teeth.  
I need a shower.
Sigh.
We have swimming today, I tell myself, I need to take a shower.
I locate a variety of toys. "Tag!" B says and hands him to me. Tag does not respond. Go downstairs. "Oh please Oh please". Locate screwdriver. Change batteries. Tag comes back to life. "YES!" Back upstairs.

Shower
Check the 4 rooms on this floor for baby-safety.
Get in the shower.
Five minutes, tops. You can do this.
I hear them playing with Tag and another noisy toy in the hall outside the open bathroom door. I peek through the curtain, eyeballing them.
Rinse.
Suddenly a draft. J pulling the curtain open. "Maaah!" Oh no.
I grab a mesh bag of tub toys and dump them on the bathroom floor. "Here you go, bud!" I say cheerily as he begins to wail.

Two more minutes. I have to put on a bathing suit today I remind myself, grabbing my razor.
Suddenly I am reminded of one of my favorite mommy bloggers and her recent post about the benefits of neglect. I take a breath, tackle my hairy legs and ignore him. A moment passes. Suddenly I hear him, "Brroom. Brrrroom" He's playing with one of the cars from the bag of tubby toys.
Neglect. Hmm. Who knew?

Dry. Dress.

7:40am.