Circle Stah

Here's another odd thing about my Wee One.

You see, I think he might be a burgeoning wizard.

Hear me out.

Just for clarification this shirt says "Yankees, yuck!"
Photo by beloved Kelly and Derek.

You see, the Wee One is at that irritating age where he believes that he is the boss of the universe and nothing pleases him more than ordering me around.

He adores handing me crayons or chalk and dictating what I draw.

Where does the wizard come in, Melissa? Well, here's the odd part - all he wants me to draw is something he calls "circle stah."

If this were Salem, MA in the 1600's we might be in trouble.

See what I mean?

Wizard.

"Nuddah circle stah, mama!"

No?

Listen, you draw 300 pentacles in your driveway and see if you don't start to wonder.

This 'n' that

Oh that Wee One.

I tell you, if he weren't cute, I'd list him on Craig's list.

Lately he's been a little snack-happy in the car, requesting a seemingly endless stream of pretzels, goldfish, and fruit bars. I thought perhaps he was having a growth spurt.

Alas, no.

The little bugger has discovered he can drop food into the hole in his car seat where the buckle comes through.

DIS-GUS-TING

Gross!

After my initial shock and horror wore off, I contemplated clean-up (and murder).

The clean up of this mess required the use of:
1) dustbuster
2) shopvac
3) spray cleaner and paper towels
4) soapy sponge
5) sunshine

Alas, Blogger won't let me upload any more photos this morning so the rest of the Wee One's antics will have to wait till tomorrow.

Blogger fail.

Can you believe I actually posted that hideously embarrassing photo on the internet?

Someone's probably going to alert child protective services.

What's the grossest thing your kids have ever done? Do tell. Improve my self-esteem.

The Binder

We have been very lucky the past few weeks to be able to get away and rely on our beloved family to watch the boys.

Between Buffett and the wedding, we've had two fabulous nights out - child-free!

In order to make things easier for those brave folks who offer, oh-so-kindly, to watch the boys - I have created:

The Binder

It looks innocuous, no?
But think of it like a life raft.

The Binder contains everything one might need to know when it comes to the care and feeding of my two littles.

First and foremost, what to do in an emergency! (Sorry, I'm a nurse.)

This page has our street address, the boys' vital statistics
and the number for poison control.

I know this seems silly, but what I have learned from my life as a nurse is that emergencies do happen, and the best way to get through them is with an idiot-proof plan, because in an emergency, your brain just doesn't function as well as it normally does.

The rest of the binder is not so scary.

It contains a page of directions for using our tv. With diagrams!

Fancy, no? Thanks Hubs.

It contains a run down on diapers, meal times and three pages describing the bedtime routine.

How to get them in bed unscathed.

And of course there's an assortment of local places for take-out, and some cash.

I could go for pizza.

I included a page of "translations" i.e. if the Big Boy asks for "da udder mama's cereal" he means the granola/wheaties mix.

I know this may seem like overkill - but I gotta say - those who have watched the boys seem to have appreciated it.

I want those beloved folks who care for my little guys to relax, have fun, and feel appreciated. This is my way of making things easier.

Hooray for the binder!

Monday! Bleh!

Happy Monday, folks.

How are you?

How was your weekend?

Mine? Oh, I went to the most beautiful wedding. I laughed, I cried, I gorged myself at the buffet.

The bride is from Columbia so I was blown away by the colors (she wore yellow shoes!) and the lovely flowers.

Photos? Alas, no. I forgot my camera.

Blogger fail.

Here are some amusing things the boys did this weekend to make up for my failure:

The Big Boy eats everything with a spoon. Including popcorn, crackers, and Teddy Grahams.

The Wee One, on the other hand, eats nothing with a spoon. Sadly, including yogurt and oatmeal.

Who needs a spoon?

And my favorite moments from the weekend were brought to  me by the Big Boy, who desperately wants to play mini-golf thanks to a recent episode of (you guessed it) Handy Manny.

We didn't get to a mini golf range this weekend, but that didn't stop my boy.

Chipmunk holes = golf course.

Come on! That's hilarious! Can you imagine what the poor chipmunks were thinking?

Now tell, what did you do with your weekend?

Friday Moments

Friday moments with Soule Mama again today.

If you have a moment or two to share, please leave a comment with a link.

This week I'm only going to share one  moment. Gasp!

Our first haul from the CSA. I finally joined one and I can hardly contain myself. It's awesome!

Happy Friday!

Time flies

It dawned on me the other day that the Wee One is twenty-one months old. Twenty one. Nearly two.

When his brother was this age, I had just brought home a newborn.

I look at the Wee One now, and I can't seem to imagine the Big Boy ever being that ... well... wee.

It has happened - time has flown.

Just like everyone warned me it would.

So big.

In the morning when I pluck him from his crib, we talk:
"Good morning" I say.
"Good moah-nin" he replies - talking around his binky.
"Are you my baby one?" I tease, sticking my nose in his neck and tickling him.
"No!" he says, squirming.

Despite the binky,  blanky, and crazy crib hair - he really isn't a baby anymore.

I blinked, and here we are.

The dismantler at work.

And the Big Boy?

It's hard for me to write about how big he is. My heart starts to ache and my eyes sting.

Sappy Mama.

Lately he's been practicing social skills with me:
"Hi!" he says, "What's your name?"
"My name's Mama" I say (having been scolded previously for introducing myself with my real name), "What's your name?"
Suddenly he is shy, but he answers, then he runs off, satisfied.

Yesterday when I picked him up from the daycare at the gym he was playing with a few other boys who all knew his name.
Oh, there he goes.

Time, time, time.
Always marching on.

Haiku

Blogger won't let me upload photos this morning, so my planned post will have to wait until manana.

What to do instead?

Parenting Haiku!

***

What is in your mouth?

Yuck! Give that to me right now!

Don't eat off the floor!

***

A horrible smell.

What have we been feeding you?

Wish it was Dad's turn

***

Baby smells like garlic

Wanted Hummus for breakfast

His breath is awful

***

Don't dismantle things!

How on earth do I fix this?

Not Handy Mommy

***

Hey! Stop hitting him!

Go to your room this instant!

Count to ten, Mama

***

Why are there no wipes?

Who used the last friggen wipe?

Alas, it was me

***

Stop picking your nose

I can still see you. Now stop!

Because I said so!

***

Don't wipe that on me

Go wipe it on a tissue

Now I need new pants

***

I hope you have enjoyed parenting haiku.

Please feel free to leave your own haiku in the comments!

Hopefully, I'll be back with photos tomorrow.