38 degrees F.
Mind: We're going running.
Body: What? No. It's cold.
Mind: I will provide you with a hat and gloves.
5 minutes into run:
Mind: Yay! Running! So good for me. Shrink stubborn thighs, shrink.
Knees: crackle, crackle.
Quads: I'm tired already.
Hamstrings: We're tight.
10 minutes into run:
Mind: Yay. Running. Must keep running.
Body: Yay! Running is awesome! I feel great! Hey! Is that a downhill? WEEEE!
20 minutes into run:
Mind: I'm bored. Can we stop?
Body: No! I love running! When are we going to increase our distance?!
Mind: What do you think are the odds of being snatched by a serial killer on this stretch of road?
Body: Wha?
30 minutes into run:
Body: I'm hot! Take off the hat and gloves immediately!
Mind: What am I supposed to do with them??
Body: Carry them awkwardly, of course. Can we take off the rest of our clothes, too? I want to be free.
Mind: No. I don't want to carry these. We're ditching them behind this telephone pole. We'll come back for them later.
40 minutes into run:
Body: Effing hill. Can't. Breathe. Must. Stop.
Mind: NO! Almost done! See we are cresting the hill now! Way to go!
Body: Still. Can't. Breathe. Wheeze. Gasp.
Mind: Why are you still panting? We're going downhill now. Weee?
Body: No.
End of run:
Body and Mind: YAY!
4 hours post-run:
Mind: I feel great! So calm and centered.
Body: Stop climbing up and down the friggen stairs. No. More. Laundry.
And there you have it.
Running, as experienced by me.
