We are making some changes, and I'm taking on a few new endeavors (I got to wear the microphone at Pilates this week!).
I have a long list of "things-to-do" and not a whole lot of child-free moments to get it all done. Okay, pretty much no child-free-moments. Ever. "Mumma? Whatcha doing? I want you to come wif me."
So I'm in that uncomfortable place, where my to-do list feels burdensome and I yet I have to accept the fact that my children are my priority. I can't get everything done according to my schedule. If I try to push to hard, to cram in a few more to-do's, I get cranky and irritable with the boys, and we all suffer.
So, dear friends, come along with me as I try to let go of my time-table and accept the reality of a life with two small children.
Though there may not be time to return phone calls, there's always time to get some work done in the sun.
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| We fixin' dis wight hee-yah." |
Though, I may feel overburdened at times, I'm not the only one doing some heavy lifting.
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| "Biiiig one!" |
And when I am tired and cranky, frustrated and grouchy - there's always a little bit of heaven nearby - if you know where to get it.
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| Bliss. |
I get stuck in this place pretty often - chasing my own goals and straining against the boundaries of life as a stay-at-home mom. I forget that I can't jam a round peg in a square hole by sheer force of will.
I've got to stop banging my head against the wall - this is my life, it's beautiful and crazy and awesome and hard, boundaries and all.
The things will get done. Or they won't. But my kids, these two cool little dudes of mine, they are what matter. I need to put honoring that at the top of my to-do list.
it is mom as google won't let me post any more..got your priorities right with the dudes on top of the list ..ok to be selfish as you only live once too ..the dudes will understand as they will have a happier mom..
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that you are putting your wee ones at the top of your priority list. They will grow up so fast and soon be off doing their own thing. My oldest turned 28 this past weekend and my youngest is almost 14. I remember wondering if I would ever get to just take a shower in peace! Now, I have time for all my hobbies and I can take a shower as long as I like. Everything has a time and a place and it looks like you are doing a fantastic job with your "dudes'.
ReplyDeleteI hear you loud and clear, Melissa. I have so many ideas percolating and not enough hours in the day to do them all. I do try to step back and enjoy my kids, and enjoy the moments, because I know they are fleeting. But it's damn hard sometimes!
ReplyDeletePlay date soon, yes?
Ditto ditto ditto. I too regularly go thru the struggle of fighting against time then accepting and enjoying, then getting in a state again and fighting some more...then accepting and being proud to put the kids first. It's a constant, this working out the headspace in this crazy role that we have as mums.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the Acceptance strengthening and continuing!
I have to say...I love the fact that the pic of your DD iced coffee just happens to appear where big boy's head would be. It made me giggle. :) I hear you with the struggles of Mama-hood. Last night my oldest son had quite a hormonal pre-teen moment when I told him his computer time was up. It got a little nasty, I had a hard time keeping my wits about me, and he was very, very angry with me. I let him get his feelings out, and then let him know when it was time to get back to "life" (i.e. shower time). After he got out of his shower, he came up to me, wrapped his long arms around my waist, squeezed tighter than he has in a long time, and gave me an apology that was from the bottom of his soul. Moments like those make me think that maybe what hubby and I are doing with our boys just may be alright. priceless Being a mom/dad is the hardest, most difficult, and (at times) most gratifying place in the world to be.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a common theme among Moms. None of us are perfect and we all need to find our "balance". It's important to make our family a priority, but not forget ourselves in the process. Mothering is a journey with lots of ups and downs and constant change as our children grow. Melissa I think you are doing a wonderful job with your little guys. They clearly adore you.
ReplyDeleteI am so jealous of your Dunkin Donuts.... :)
ReplyDeleteOh man, it must be something about the week following a holiday (more things to do, less time to do them!) because I've been feeling as though I've barely got my nose above water. And the worst part is that I feel as though I'm just wasting the day away and have nothing productive to show for it; I guess having a baby who is fed and clean should be enough, but I can't lie--sometimes it isn't. I think I'm going to need to get my DD fix tomorrow. :D
ReplyDeleteAnd that, I think, can be the eternal Mom struggle. But you have it right -- with putting the kids at the top of that list!
ReplyDeletePlay on!