Reading: A bit of everything

I have been reading so much lately - I have several things to share with you.



First of all if you haven't yet read Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck go out and get it immediately. I highly recommend you listen to it as an audiobook because it is read by the author herself, and it is absolutely priceless. Perfect. Funny. Honest. I love, love, love this book and have listened to it no less than ten times.







But, with all that said - I am currently enjoying I Remember Nothing also by my beloved Nora, and I am enjoying it just as much. I could listen to this woman for the rest of my life and never tire of her wit.

You may have spotted me driving around, laughing maniacally, wiping tears from my eyes and nodding my head so emphatically I may develop a repetitive stress injury. This is what happens when I listen to Nora. "Yes!" I cry, "That's it, exactly!"

Dear Nora, I love you. Sincerely, Melissa



If you haven't read The Women's Murder Club series by James Patterson - it's awesome. If you have been reading the series, The 9th Judgment will not disappoint. It rocks. Shocking murders, brave heroines, and studly police officers - it's all good. I don't know how James Patterson, who I am fairly certain is a man, has managed to so accurately infiltrate the psyche of a close group of female friends, but he has certainly done it.





Okay, I have to admit I'm a little embarrassed about this one, so I've tucked it in with all the other good stuff I'm reading lately, hoping no one will notice that this is a book for teenagers. The House of Night Series is of the teenage-vampire genre. When I read them in public I subtly try to hide the cover so no one is aware that I am pathetic. These books are Harry-Potter-meets-Twilight with a dash of Sweet-Valley-High thrown in there. It's pretty bad, I'm not gonna lie - but the God's honest truth is that I've read six of these books in about 10 days and I can't put them down. This is like jelly-beans-for-the-brain and I have been loving every minute of it.




And finally, there's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. This is a really interesting book. The main character, Lisbeth is a computer-hacking genius with a photographic memory and seriously messed up childhood. What I like best about this (and the subsequent novels in the series) is that Lisbeth serves up justice - even though her methods may be just a wee bit outside the law. My only complaint about these books is that it was somewhat difficult to keep track of all the characters - because 1) there are so many and 2) they all have bizarre swedish names that start with B. But, Larsson does a good job periodically reminding you who a character is when they pop up. These books are definitely worth checking out and Lisbeth is in my top ten list of "coolest fictional characters."


What are you reading lately?

Hindsight

Warning: parenting spoiler alert.

There are lots of things I wish I had known before I had children. Here are a few that have recently come to light. I sense that this could be a repeating theme here at Bad Mama Moments, no?

I wish I had known that...

***

A hunter shoots and kills Babar the elephant's mother on page three of The Story of Babar.

Children's books often come with helpful labels like "Teaches numbers!" "Teaches letters!" but no where do they tell you "Teaches death!" which definitely would have been nice to know.

***

Bizarre toddler behavior has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with parenting.

Prior to owning my own three-year-old-child, I used to think that tantrums, yelling, kicking, hitting, biting, picky-eating, piss-poor-sharing, lack of table manners, and generalized-mayhem-making were the fault of lazy parenting and easily remedied with a few simple behavior modification techniques.

It is now painfully clear to me that there is almost nothing that one can do to change the behavior of a three year old. Instead you live your life as if you're carrying a live grenade. You do your best to manage, juggle, and generally keep the peace - but there's just no convincing a live grenade to play nicely.

***

My pre-children body is gone and it will never be back.

After I triumphantly lost my baby weight, I was dismayed to discover that things just aren't the way they used to be. There have been some major structural changes within my body that I was simply not expecting.  I will spare you the graphic details but suffice it to say that some things got larger, some things got smaller, and in general - everything lost its' structural integrity.

***

I think that about does it for today, I'm sure there will be more to come on this particular topic.

What about you? What has hindsight taught you that you wish you'd known before?

Saturday Shout-Out

Today I'm giving a shout-out to Full Circle Midwifery Care. My beloved group of midwives.

These fine ladies helped me bring all of my babies into the world, including the two who aren't with us now. I would not be where I am today without their love and support.

If you'd like to share your birth experience with Full Circle - I'd be happy to open up Bad Mama Moments to some guest posts - sharing the goodness of Full Circle with the world. Drop me a line at badmamamoments (at) gmail (dot) com.

Love you guys!

Friday Moments

Hey Gang - Friday moments with Soule Mama again today. If you have a moment or two to share, please leave a comment with a link.

This we got a lot accomplished.

First we assessed the broken ice dispenser on the fridge.

"It's bwoken" he says, then he charged me ninety five bucks!

Prepare yourselves gang - this next one's a doozey  -  The. Baby. Drank. Milk. I caught it on film! Ta-freakin'-Da! Months of bribery and cajoling all culminating in this one glorious moment.

Calcium intake: accomplished.
I can see hear his bones thanking me.

Then the big boy fell off the couch and gave himself a nice gash on the forehead.

He thinks the scar will make him look dangerous.

Then we played "dress up" which basically consists of me wearing a blanket on my head. "Mama will we-yah dis."

Why am I wearing that same green hoodie in every photograph?

And finally, in a moment of toddler-glory: we found the cat.

"Kitty!" he says, as if he is rescuing her rather than stalking her.

With all these major accomplishments this week - is it any surprise the house is a mess and the laundry is once again piling up? A mama can only do so much!

What's up for the weekend? You got any big plans?

Thanks for stopping by - Happy Friday!

3/3/11

Sorry guys, no post today. I hope to be back with Friday Moments tomorrow.
Click here for a laugh. I think this might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. I laughed until I cried.
xo,
M

Playdate

Today I'm linking up with the folks over at Beneath the Rowan Tree with a post about playtime.

My house is pretty much awash in a sea of toys and other household-items-being-used-as-toys i.e. kitchen utensils and random items snatched from the recycling bin.



Yes, he takes that spatula everywhere. "It's da magic wand!"

I have tried, with a moderate amount of success, to give my house over to living a play-filled life. Train-table-in-lieu-of-coffee-table? Check!



Perhaps consider removal of the diaper from the couch
before the photo shoot next time, Melissa?


Book case loaded with toys rather than, say, books? Check! Where are the books then, Bad Mama? Fear not, they are in a nearby bin for easier dumping and searching.



A rare moment of peace brought to you by the makers of Tag.


In the dining room I hung a felt "board" (really just a large square of felt, thumb tacked to the chair rail, sorry Hubs). Did you know felt sticks to itself? Just cut out some shapes and viola! Playtime!



Wonky hearts made by me - all other
items made my crafty mother-in-law.

Sure, I hope someday to live in a house where walking barefoot isn't a treacherous endeavor. Or where we might be able to go without the hideous seven-foot-long baby gate that blocks the fireplace. But for now, I try to accept the mess and acknowledge that play is my children's work - however messy it may be.

If you'd like to come play please join the playdate over at Beneath the Rowan Tree.

He bites.

This will be one of those posts that is difficult to write, and scary to publish.

The wee one likes to stick his fingers places they are not welcome i.e. eyes, ears, noses, and mouths.

Twice now, the big boy allowed the wee one a thorough examination of his mouth, but then unfortunately, something in his toddler mind shifted and he bit down hard on my baby's tiny, fat fingers.

Both times I have been within arm's reach, and had no idea what was going on. One minute they're cozily giggling and the next minute there's a horrible screech and that wail that tells me the baby is hurt, and hurt badly.

Twice.

Twice that horrible cry of pain, and that crippling, sinking feeling in my stomach.

There was a brief moment when I thought perhaps he'd broken his finger - so awful were the bite marks.

Twice I've yelled at the biting 3-year-old, sent him to his room in an inappropriate rage. The mama lion roaring inside of me - you hurt my baby.

Now I hover over the two of them, unable to turn my back for an instant.
"Don't touch him."
"Get away from him."
"Leave him alone."

I drag the baby with me everywhere - afraid to let him out of my line of sight for a second. How could I let this happen? Twice.

If I were a better mother, my son would know not to bite his defenseless baby brother.

If I were a good mother, I would have stopped the mouth exploration before it turned to biting. I would not have been distracted, relishing in a moment of peaceful playing between two siblings.

I am a bad mother, a lazy mother.  And now my selfish inattention has hurt my baby.

I cannot keep my children safe, even from each other. My most important job in the world, and I dropped the ball.

I do not post this so that you beloved folks will say, "It's okay Melissa - you're a good mom. Accidents happen" in some sad attempt to bolster my self esteem. I post this because like everything else I put out here - it's how I feel. And right now I'm feeling like a pretty worthless mama.